so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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