you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
