Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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