I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
