come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
and you fell through a lawn chair
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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