I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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