I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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