Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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