I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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