Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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