I would go down on you faster than GM stock
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
