I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
and i looked up. we had an audience...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
