I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
