Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Randomize
