I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
