I must be too annoying 4 u.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
