the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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