Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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