maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
