She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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