Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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