you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
