we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
