so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
