i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
