is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
