Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize
