A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
