awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
