and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
