Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
