i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
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