i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
