Non-Jews are for practice
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
