I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
