sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
