another moral hangover. fuck.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
