My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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