Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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