it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
