What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Mom said you looked used
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
