I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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