I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
