remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
