Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
