i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
