I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
