found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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