I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
