I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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